how soon is too soon?

[Lindsay]

ok well as some of you know aaron and i are done for good... and yes im sure about it this time. haha no more going back to that chaos again...

well he has a new gf, which happened literally 5 days after we quit talking and im just really confused as to how someone can move on so quick? i mean we were together for over 2 years and he can just mentally move from girl to girl that quickly?! astonishes me...

im just wondering how soon you girls think is too soon to move on, i mean i understand if the right person comes along then go for it... but 5 days? isnt that a little wayyy tooo soon?! ha

[Meredith]

first off let me start with a :bighug: for ya!

I don't know if there's a "time to move on" exactly I think people just keep moving. Some people move on quicker than others. I think some people just move on to the next person just to fill the void of the person from before.

I personally think 5 days later is soon but that's his problem. I think you need to take the time to heal, learn from both the good and the bad of the relationship, the mistakes, and take time to refind yourself. We tend to lose ourselves in our s/o. When you're happy just being you things will fall into place and you'll feel ready to move on.

Most importantly I wouldn't concern yourself with his antics. Clearly he's a butt if he didn't want to work things out with you. Focus on yourself, know you're better off and you've learned a lot about yourself and how you work in a relationship, and move on when you're ready.

[Kira]

((HUGS))
I agree with Mere!

I just wanted to add I've been there and I believe taking time is the right thing to do. My ex and I were together for 3 years we broke up in April '03 when he already had another gf. They didn't last long. I met my hubby in Oct '03 and 7 years later here we are!!

[Lindsay]

Thanks girls! :)

Its just hard to think that he could move on so quick, I guess cause it makes me question a lot about whether he truly felt the way he said he did about me or not..

A lot of my friends have told me what you said Mere, that he is probably just trying to fill a void... which I actually do believe because back in August when we broke up he dated another girl for 3 days just to "cover me up" (thats what he said) ha guys are just strange...

so i dont know what he expects me to believe of this girl, especially if hes "covered me up" at least 2 times in the past that i know of.

i know that im not ready to move on, i am definitely going out and meeting people and having fun but unless that perfect person comes along im perfectly content with just refinding myself and realizing what it is i want :)

[Tibbit]

i know that im not ready to move on, i am definitely going out and meeting people and having fun but unless that perfect person comes along im perfectly content with just refinding myself and realizing what it is i want :)

Good for you! You really have to give yourself time to heal. And I commend you for taking that time.
I agree with all that was said above. Some people just can't handle not having that side presence. I don't think it's really a reflection on how he felt for you, but rather that he hasn't reached that point of maturity where you realize that we don't NEED a person right there... but rather that we choose to allow another person to share in our lives.

[Meredith]

right on ladies!! the guy I dated before Mike...I broke up with him but because he was cheating on me. I met Mike about 9 months later but I did a lot of finding myself in that time, a lot of evaluating the things I noticed, the mistakes I made, the red flags I should have seen...my biggest mistake was trying to be someone HE wanted me to be instead of being myself....like Tammy said it's not a matter of NEEDING Mike but rather choosing to share every part of our lives together..I think this is especially important in military relationships because there's a good chance you won't always be together which means you need to be independent and to be your own person because military relationships don't seem to last when people have to have that space filled.

I think you're doing great lindsay! Take your time! Have fun, go out and party and the right guy will find you :) I tell my one gf all the time STOP looking it'll come when it's time...and that's true for you too! You'll find someone special for you, but till then enjoy yourself!

[Lindsay]

thanks mere :)

[KristiMarie]

Maybe she is a rebound? YOu know there just to help even though it may not be what he wants right now? BUTTT BIGGGGGGG HUGS. I still love you!

[ReginaCherie]

im a little behind. but i love you and that is really soon. but im with mere!

[Lindsay]

Just a funny little side note, I talked to my friend who used to date aarons roommate (will) and apparently will was telling her about aarons girlfriend... he said that his new gf is nasty and that she told aaron she cheats all the time and he got mad that she drinks so much all the time and she said well sorry thats who i am. hahahah

I think I find it funny because when we quit talking I told him that just because I made one stupid little mistake about telling someone something I wasnt supposed to repeat, I told him that our relationship could be much worse and that he could be dating a cheater! HA! too bad he is now...

[Christy]

Ha Ha! If I had a dime for every time someone in my family told me "It's too soon", I think I'd be super rich! LOL

I don't think there is a "Too soon" clause in anything with life. It's just how it feels at that time. (If that makes any sence) I left my ex husband in July 2007, i met Jay like a week after I filed my papers and we moved in together in August. As you know, it ended in August 2009. After Jay and I were done, Craig and I found each other on FB and started talking, we went out like a week after Jay and I officially ended our relationship and haven't spent a day a part. We moved into our place at the end of September and have been happy ever since. I think if you are confident in who you are and know who you are and what you want out of life, there is no point where "Too soon" comes into play. You never know when the love of your life will pop up and I think that if you live with the fear of it being too soon, you might miss something really great. Does that make sence at all?