Lessons

[Lana]

So I was thinking :chinscratch: about relationships and how DIFFICULT they can be sometimes. And I was wondering for all you girls, what are some "lessons learned" within your relationship that has made you stronger. Whether it's been mistakes made by you or him, or problems encountered...etc.

[Belinda]

Ohhh, where do I even begin?
Most importantly, don't EVER have important conversations through email or AIM...if they're that important, have them face to face, or over the phone if you must, because at least you can hear the other person's reactions.

Um, and after a while, you learn that you really have to let the small things go. You can't fight over everything, it'll only wear you down. Let the unimportant things go so that when you fight, both of you know that it's something important.

Always listen to the other side of the argument. No matter how pissed you are, and how much you just want to scream over everything he's saying...you don't always get to be right. And a lot of times there is a whole other side to the story that you haven't even thought about that might just make sense if you think about it.
That's all I can think of tonight, I'll probably add more tomorrow when I'm more awake.

[JessicaLynn]

Mainly this deployment taught me to be much more patient. I shouldn't get pissed if he doesn't call me every day especially after what we've been through.

Also something I learned from a while back is Josh sucks at being on time. He always says I'll be there in 10 when all reality it's nearly 20-30. I'm training him. haha

[Lana]

LOL Jess, Nick does that too. "I'll call back in like five minutes baby!" ......Two hours later... lol

[KristiMarie]

Take things at face value.

Don't get angry. If a argument gets started, getting angry resolves nothing, it makes things worse you say things you don't mean... just cool off, even if it means not talking for a while.

COMMUNICATION. It is the most important thing EVER!

[Meredith]

He's not perfect and neither am I....learn to love the imperfections. They're what truly make you unique

Don't just listen, observe...some times you can see more than you hear (which is tough for our relationships that rely so much on phone/email) I guess that goes for hear what he doesn't say too...guys don't express emotions the same way girls does. Just because he doesn't say I love you as often as we do, doesn't mean he doesn't mean it

Smile! If you smile, he smiles, if he smiles, you smile! Smiling makes everyone happy! ;)

[~SaBrInA_lEiGh~]

let the small things go and walk away in heated descusions call time out and take a break no getting heated the wrong words come flying out and just makes it worse.... and i have a rule my grandpop taught me "you can be mad as hell at each other but the second you cross the tresh hold to your bedroom your lovers theres no fighting in there... maybe a lil bit of spanking going on but no fighting!" those are his words and when there followed its ah-mazing how they work!

[Nuky Loves Nue]

In (almost) 16 years I have learned alot. The most important thing I have learned is do not try to change them. Accept them as they are. When we were first married, I used to get so upset about Jere leaving the toilet seat up. Well, now he leaves the toilet seat down and pees through the hole. I go in there to use the bathroom and I now have to check for pee on the seat. If he is really mad at me he will do the "compass points" where he pees North, South, East, and West on the toilet seat. It really sucks LOL.

The other most important thing I have learned is to forget the past. The past is just that...the past. Shit happens! I have been through alot in my marriage, and if I kept bringing it up I would not be married and I would be a miserable person. Learn to get over things that have happened. Yes, they still hurt and sting. There will be situations that remind you of the past, but that doesn't mean the past is coming back. It just means there is a "new" situation to deal with. We are very strong women and we are forced to put up with a lot of crap. We can handle it because we are the strongest women in the world. We are military wives!!!

[Lisa]

What I've learned is to be really careful about what I say. I grew up in a very sarcastic, screaming, sometimes hateful environment. Sometimes I say things when I'm upset or angry that I probably shouldn't and it really hurts D's feelings. I know that sounds like something everyone does, but he really doesn't. His biggest problem is that he's a dumb boy, and sometimes he doesn't know when it's not okay to make jokes.

Also, we're waaayyyy tooo sarcastic and we play too much so sometimes (on both ends) one of us will have trouble knowing when the other is trying to be serious.

[Christy]

Communication is key. You have to talk about your feelings and what you're thinking. If you don't, it will build and that is not a good thing.

[~*Kandice*~]

[QUOTE=Belinda;7259]Ohhh, where do I even begin?
Most importantly, don't EVER have important conversations through email or AIM...if they're that important, have them face to face, or over the phone if you must, because at least you can hear the other person's reactions.


Totally agree with this!!! Me and jason have fought soooo many times because you cant tell if the person is saying it in a mean way or nice so we all got defensive. So i def learned this one!!

[Christy]

yahoo fighting is the worst! Jay and I had many of those!

[Lana]

Hahaha Nick and I end up fighting about the stupidest stuff! The other night we fought about why he wouldn't tell me where my engagement ring was. Finally I was like "I'm not going to pull a mission impossible and hang from the ceiling and steal it!!" lol it was bad.

[ReginaCherie]

ive learned that makeing rash decisions is not a good thing. you gotta thinks things through first.

[Spahr]

You've got to know when enough is enough for both of ya'lls sake!

[Lisa]

Yeah Lana D and I fight about some STUPID stuff sometimes too! I'll never admit it to him but 80-85% of the time its my fault. My pill makes me CrAzY emotional and I freak out about little things for no reason! Like he'll make a joke and we'll be laughing and out of no where I'm like THATS NOT FUNNY!

[Lana]

LOL Nick and I do that same thing!!

[Belinda]

Oh, and if you're mad about something...talk about it then. Cause I have a TERRIBLE memory, but Erik has an amazing one, and we're forever getting in fights where he'll bring up something that really bugged him from like...three weeks ago...and I have NOOOO idea what he's talking about. So then I'm like...I'm sorry??? And then he gets mad cause I don't remember. It's bad.

[happilymarried]

I have learned that communication is so important...whenever something comes up..just talk about it.and also when we don't like something the other one does..just tell each other in a nice way right away...don't give it any time to build up..it saves us from fighting..we've been together for over a year..lived together for about 5 and never had a fight.i was telling my friends..and they were like..well one of you is just holding back and not saying anything..but really we dont.we just communicate.And neither one of us gets pissed at each other for small things...it doesnt help.
Also with this deployment i have learned that love is more than just seeing each other..talking..sex..spending time together.for those of us who have to be alone a lot of the time..im sure you know what i mean.anyway,our love has become stronger and deeper even when we are so far apart.

[JessicaLynn]

boys are buttheads. .
until the end of time.

:yes:

[Spahr]

I think it was sherry who told me awhile back never go to bed angry!

Luckily Charlie and I usually end up laughing at each other when we fight cuz we realize how ridiculous it is

[Spahr]

NO! it was something like you gotta look at each fight and decide if it was worth ending your relationship over and odds were it wasn't so you might as well just brush it off.... or something along those lines. It was some advice someone gave her when she got married!