Looking into Marriage

[Lindsey Elizabeth]

This is from a blog I write, I didn't know where to post it. Spamalicious didn't seem appropriate, so because it's about my relationship with Kevin, I thought I would post it in Relationships. If anyone wants to read my blog its http://twstd-bites.xanga.com/

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!

Being married at 19 is something I would have never thought of when I was 16. Only 3 years ago and I wasn't even looking at getting married, much less, I had just lost my virginity. I was in full experimental mode. So now, I've found the love of my life and I am married. Sometimes I will meet people and the conversation will lead to how I got married. Most of the time people are like "wow, you're so young, did you get pregnant?" What really upsets me about this is because of the fact that so many people that get married at my age, get married because they've gotten pregnant. Why can't people get married for love anymore? I mean there are always other things to factors that should be considered when marrying someone, however, there is so much divorce. Maybe the biggest reason why marriage is failing so much presently is because people get married for the wrong reasons (i.e. pregnancy).

So, when I look at my marriage, and I get afraid, and I ask myself if this was right, I look back at the things that made me marry him. The reason why I know that this marriage will work. Then again, maybe I've calculated the relationship too much, but I needed to be confident. Of all the reasons I married Kevin, the biggest on is because I love him, I will always love him, no matter what. The other things, the advantages to being married to him, the safety of my relationship with him, doesn't matter.

All You Need Is Love- John Lennon

Disclaimer: I have no issues with marriage after or before pregnancy, or even during pregnancy. I'm looking at myself, judging who I am, no one else.

[Kira]

So, when I look at my marriage, and I get afraid, and I ask myself if this was right, I look back at the things that made me marry him. The reason why I know that this marriage will work. Then again, maybe I've calculated the relationship too much, but I needed to be confident. Of all the reasons I married Kevin, the biggest on is because I love him, I will always love him, no matter what. The other things, the advantages to being married to him, the safety of my relationship with him, doesn't matter.

Don't start questioning, just be honest with yourself, with Kevin! You start asking yourself questions and it can spiral into anger if you realize your not happy ( I'm not saying you are but hopefully you KWIM? ). Who cares what other ppl think. Ppl get married young and stay together forever. Ppl can marry older and it doesn't last or vice versa. Just live for the moment. Maybe it won't last forever no one has a crystal ball to tell you, but marriage is work you have to work at it everyday. Just enjoy the love you have for each other now and just keep loving him. If someone asks why you got married so young tell them quite frankly it's none of their business. Just don't tear yourself apart asking the what-if's. Divorce rate is high, it has been for years. There are many reasons why ppl get divorced and a few big reasons that come to mind are lack of communication, money, and cheating ( this has been a major one lately ) but there are many many reasons not just those 3. Luckily most of this can be avoided when your honest with yourself and your SO.

[snwalways41903]

i know how you feel hun, i was only 19 when my hubby and i married, we listened to all of the negative things people had to say, you are too young, blah blah whatever. i didnt have a job he was working at a dead end job but it was just enough, we were told and i quote "haha how are you gonna get married, with only 1 income" "it will never work, better not get prego if you arent already, it will fall apart by the time your 1st year is up" we made up in our minds along time ago age is just a number, it doesnt matter how old you are when you get married, what matters is how mature you are when you take that step. people will always doubt you, but thats when you give it all your might and forget them. dont try and prove them wrong, just live your life and love with all your might, and when you prove them wrong by just living your life you will be the one laughing. my hubby and i we will be celebrating our 7th anniversary this year, all those people who said oh they got prego before their 1st anniversary would be shocked to learn we not only survived our 1st yr of marriage, and our 1st child, but we beat all odds 7 yrs 3 kids and 1 deployment. so dont worry about them, just follow your heart and know that you are making all the right choices cause you are following whats deep down.

[Jessie.Rose]

I'm 20 and STILL getting crap like that....when I got engaged at 19, after 4 months of knowin Jamie, people always asked if it was becasue I was pregnant, or told me things werent gonna work out cuz we didnt "know eachother" and...We've been together for almost 2 years and our wedding is in a couple months and we've never been happier....the worst part was when people would take bets on how long the relationship would last, UGH...but people think I'm too young to get married and that people under the age of like 25 dont know what they want yet! And honestly it doesnt matter if we get married now or at 25, our feelings arent gonna change for eachother, and we have known since we met pretty much that we were gonna be together forever!!!! Just letting you know girl there are still some of us out there who are marrying for love!!! and it doesnt matter what age you find it at, love is love, and thats all that matters!

[Lindsey Elizabeth]

Thanks so much for the support! it really helps to have you all around to give perspective

[Erin]

People can be so very judgmental. And I honestly think that sometimes people want you to fail.

DH and I were 21 when we got married. I was 6 months pregnant with lil M. I guess it was the obvious assumption that we got married because we were pregnant, but that wasn't it at all. We were engaged for a year before getting married, and therefore 6 months before getting pregnant. But it's awkward when people assume that lil M was an accident and we got married because of that.

Just don't let other people get to you.

[Meredith]

I got engaged just after my 21st birthday and married right before my 23...so it was about a 2 year wait...15 months in Iraq will do that lol.

So I was 23...and got the same crap you're getting. There is no AGE at which marriage is right or wrong. Marriage is right or wrong depending on the relationship. If you're both 19 and can maturely handle marriage then go for it....I work with a woman whose in her late 40's....she's still too immature to handle it. She's on again off again with her bf like they were 14. I think marriage is right when both parties are able to maturely handle the relationship as such :) Don't doubt yourself hun and don't let people who assume things get you down. Because people say a lot of things but you KNOW the truth!!