Co-sleeping

[Courtney]

So my daughter has slept in bed with us since she was born. I have gotten crap the whole time for it, but we just enjoyed having her there with us when she was a baby. Well now she's just getting too big and too old for it. When my husband left for basic and AIT I got her to sleep in a pack-n-play in my room. She did great. When he got home though he started putting her back in the bed to cuddle with her so she's use to it again. Now we're living on post in a duplex and the truth is our room is too small for our bed and her pack-n-play. And honestly she is 2, she needs to be sleeping in her own room and start some independence. So Sat night we had some friends over and they advised us to just lay her down, tuck her in and shut her bedroom door. She will cry and scream but she's ok. So thats what we did Sat night and she did scream bloody murder which broke my heart. Well last night I tried it again and she was screaming so loud for so long. My heart just couldn't handle it plus her room backs up to our neighbors room so they probably thought something horrible was happening. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?:cribbaby:

[Belinda]

What you need to do is slowly start moving her out of your bed and into her own room. Let her sleep in your room but not your bed for a little while. After a certain point, make sure that every night she is in her bed, and doesn't get in yours. Then, slowly start moving the bed out of the room. This is probably going to be incontinent for you for a while, but slowly move it closer to your door, into the hallway, then eventually to her room. Eventually she'll get used to the idea that she's not in your room, and that it's okay with her. However, if at any point she starts screaming, DO NOT move her back to your bed. Comfort her, hold her, rock her...when she falls asleep, she goes back in her bed. Otherwise she gets the idea that she can just scream, cry, and get her way, and she'll never want to sleep in her own bed. And hopefully the slower transition time will help her better adjust to it, so there will be less screaming. (note: this also works for older children who start sleeping in parents' bed because of nightmares, etc, except with them you can just put a blanket and pillow on the floor and move it out.)

[Katie]

This is going to sound bitchy.. but I say. Continue to do what your doing, put her in her bed give her hugs and kisses.. tell her you love her.. your right (where ever you are) and that everything is ok you will see her in the morning) and then shut the door go in and go in and check on her in 10 min if she is still screaming. Give her a kiss, tell her you love her everything is ok, but she needs to go to bed, screaming isn't going to get her to sleep in mommy's bed, you will see her in the am goodnight, walk out again.. wait 15 min, go in again say what you said verbatim.. walk out. wait 20 min this time... say the routine verbatim... continue doing this waiting 5 min longer each time...

Is it heartbreaking? Yes ofcourse.. But i promise you it will work. Now, everyone differs in their opinion on what is the best way to do it, what is healthiest for a child, I'm sure your familiar if you coslept and heard earfulls about "what is best" but the bottom line is it's your choice... This method is what worked best for my boys, they are healthy well adjusted boys, they know mommy loves them, they don't suffer from abandoment or anything lol.. but they realized when it was bed time I wasn't messing around they needed to sleep in their own beds.... they also knew if they needed something I would come... and I reasssured it by coming and checking. The key is to be strong. Not tear up when you are talking to them, etc...just my 2 ccents.

[Kathryn]

I fully agree with Katie..haven't you never watched Super Nanny?? lol

I'm going to have to start doing that again soon. my situation is different though. For the first 2 weeks Lexie was born, I let her sleep with me. After that she had ALWAYS slept in her crib..in her room. Then when she got a toddler bed it was the same thing. I never wanted her to get into the habit of sleeping with me..since my BROTHER is 12 years old and he STILL sleep with my mom. ugh it drives me nuts!! But anywho, 6 months ago my sister and her 4 kids moved in with us and I was forced to let lexie sleep in my bed with me..she is 5 now. My sister is moving out in a few weeks (yaay) so i'm going to have to teach her over again to sleep in her own bed. It's gonna suck..lol So i'm right there with you girl!!!

[Courtney]

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm just going to have to get tough and let her cry. Just not a fun transition. Better believe baby #2 will be sleeping alone from day 1. lol

[Erin]

I coslept with lil M until he was about 2, and Ryker cosleeps now. I personally love it, and get awesome sleep. With lil M I just laid down with him when he went to sleep. He has no issues sleeping in his room by himself now. Some nights he gets up and comes to bed with me, but I kinda enjoy it. If you don't like it anymore though, obviously don't do it. There are many methods of doing it. One way I've heard is to move her right to her own room, put her in her crib (or pack n play) and stay next to her until she's asleep. Do that for about 3 days. Then on the 4th day move a foot or 2 away and sit there until she's asleep. Do that for about 3 days. Then the next day move a little further away...etc etc until you're just putting her down and walking out of the room.

[Courtney]

Erin that's exactly what my mom suggested too. When hubby got home I mentioned it to him and he said he's just not ready for her to sleep in another room. lol. He's wrapped around her finger and she's such a daddy's girl. SO we are squeezing the pack-n-play in our room but furthest away from our bed. I'm just going to force her to fall asleep in it. Don't really mind her in the same room, just not in our bed anymore. And DH will deploy soon so she's definitely going straight to her room when he's not here to guilt me into keeping her in ours. lol

[68WhiskeyWife]

The best way is to just let her cry. I know it sucks for you and her but if you continue to tell er that she's a big girl and how proud of her you are that she's growing up then she'll eventually do it just to see how proud you are. Maybe a security object is in order like a fav. blankie or stuffed toy, also a night light is a big help. And you should also tell hubby to help. When he brings her back into the bed it's just adding to the problem. Put your foot down honey after all you're mom and were the most powerful superheroes in the world.

[ReginaCherie]

good luck honey its funny how the daddies are the ones that cant let go. lol. i never let rylie sleep with me. and he is awesome about sleeping. so i cant give much advise cause ive never been there. but i would have to agree with katie. when ever your ready i would say do it that way. we did it with my friends daughter and it ork great the crying stoped about a week later. like magic. lol.

[Erin]

Just do whatever is right for YOU (and your family).

[Courtney]

So the past 2 nights Emma has slept all night in her pack-n-play in our room. The first night she screamed her lungs out but finally passed out. And then last night she cried for just a couple minutes and realized I wasn't putting her in bed with us, so she just laid down and fell asleep. Even though she's still in our room I feel like she's learning she can't sleep in our bed anymore. I plan on giving this some time and then moving her to her own room. Thanks for all the advice ladies. It really helped!

[ReginaCherie]

im glad things are working out for you!

[Spahr]

Ugh this makes me sad... I dont even want to think of her not sleeping with us.... Charlie and I joke that we wont have to worry about her sleeping with strange men cuz shell be in bed with us til shes 25!

Anyways Im glad things are going well!

[Courtney]

lol. That's how my husband is. He wouldn't care if she slept in our bed until she moved out. lol

[Danie]

I really don't have any advice... but I wish you luck. Both my kids never slept with us, they were in the bassinet in the room, but never in our bed. I nursed both until they were one, and went in their rooms to feed them. At 4 weeks, for both, they were in their own cribs in their own rooms. Now... neither of them can get comfortable in our bed if I tried to bring them to bed with us. I'm actually grateful for that. They enjoy sleeping and get better sleep in their beds. I was working, and only got 6 weeks off work. So, at 4 weeks I put them in their own rooms so that we could all transition to me going back to work. C will be 4 in Jan and K will be 2 in May. They cuddle with me on the couch... not in my bed. And we have a KING ... There's plenty of room, but they just don't get comfy.

[ReginaCherie]

danie thats how rylie is. i never wanted him to learn to sleep with me. and boy am i glad now cause he slept on a mat next to me when we went camping and hes kicker!

[asoldierssweetie]

riley co slept with us til he was about 5 months, then he went to his own bed. since chris has been deployed, riley sleeps with me at night, but takes naps in his crib, which helps because he can sleep in his crib at night, i just let him sleep with me. he is almost 2. we also did self soothing with him, and didnt rush to pick him up, so he knows that he is ok and can be in his own bed. i am in bed on my laptop right now,and he is in bed next to me snoring away. :)