How do we make it through deployments?

[Kristi Rae]

I have been asked this so many times now that I am maybe half way through the second deployment I still have no answer. How do we really get through deployments? I know staying busy is a way to go about it but there is more to it then that. How do you get through the long nights when your dreams become nightmares? How can you get through the day listening to ppl whine about the smallest things knowing that he is just happy to make it through another day? You can stay as busy as you want...but what happens when everything does hit you?

I would like to think the next time I am asked this question I could be more...I dont know creative other then "staying busy". maybe something along the lines that the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that he will be home sooner then I think and that he is getting through the day b/c it will bring him one day closer to seeing me. I dont know it seems more personal...

[KristiMarie]

haha well I tell ppl you have 1 of 2 options in the military.

Take the crappy situations and just deal with them the best you can or

Bitch about everything in the military and be miserable


THATS what keeps me going, i know the life I chose, I know the army inside and out. I know from being a spouse, and I know from being in myself. Its not plesant for EITHER soldier or spouse... you just have to deal with stuff as it comes. Yes you have your moments, but thats why you have US. Civies just dont understand, and as far as im concerned there is NO point in even trying to explain it to them...

[ReginaCherie]

im with kristi.

i dont really think there is any special trick to it. i just did it cause i had to. i knew what i was getting into when i married my husband, i could have left when he joined but hes what i want. so getting out wasnt an a choes so i just deal.

[Jamie]

i think the support of good people [like, oh, i don't know...the mtmh girls? lol] also has a BIG involvment in 'getting through' the deployments.

and more so than 'staying busy' i think it's the fact that we don't want to be the girl who bitches and cries all the time so we do our best to be strong. i think also to the trick to surviving deployments is finding your own self and independence. unlike 'civi relationships', you can't depend that your boyfriend/husband and yourself will have date night every friday or wake up and have breakfast together. or that when you need to talk to someone about a mean friend or a bad day, he's not there for you. you have to learn how to survive by yourself and i think that takes a lot of time and thanks to the deployments.

if that makes sense...

[Lovey]

The only thing I know that gets me through the deployments are having my different groups of friends who understand different parts of what I'm dealing with. If it wasn't for my friends I would have given up a long time ago.

[KristiMarie]

truF story jamie... MTMH helps tons too!

[littleurban]

I agree with the ladies. MTMH helped out ALOT and staying busy! I def. would go with what Kristi said.

[Kathryn]

i agree with you all! before i was with j i NEVER though i'd be able to do this..but i am..and it's completely worth it! MTMH is what hepled me through mine..ya'll heard all my whining and bitching for 8 months..and dealed with me.LOL

[Meredith]

When people ask me how I do it I tell them by loving my husband. I don't think there's much more to it then that. You do what you have to to get through it because you love him end of story.

[~*Kandice*~]

yup Loving the hubs help. Also raising crazy kids by yourself haha your too busy to realize the hubs is gone sometimes. I think what also helps is knowing that in the end i'll see my hubby again and i just need to go day by day until that time gets here and it may suck but i'll get a awesome prize in the end. MTMH helps too!! wish i would of had them during our first deployment....i didnt know what the heck i was doing!! I also think military wives and gfs have super powers that civis dont haha

[blondezilla]

I am new to all of this.. Kristian and I just got back together while he was on leave... we were engaged 4 years ago. Anyway he was stop lossed and I am totally hating it now.