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View Full Version : Sorry girls, expanation (super long)


Katie
02-19-2009, 12:01 AM
So I apologize for leaving again.. I feel like I am always taking leave of absences. But I think I am ready to explain what happened (I kept saying I would share eventually)

Here goes:

My brother has been a severe alcholic for quite some time now, and has been calling me all hours of the night obliterated telling me how upset he is about stuff that happened in our past. Crying on the phone and pouring his guts out to me. It has really taken a toll on me as he and I are super close and it is so hard to know someone you love is hurting and there really isn't anything you can do to help them or take their pain away. My brother is 21 nd has a child with his hoe bag gf which is another whole post but she is really just an awful person.... Well 2 Fri's ago my brother is in his apt with her and their child and this guy he works with Pete has been drinking and is trying to convince my brother to go to the bar with him. When my brother declines Pete storms out of his apt and my bro can here him screaming downstairs (he lives on the 2nd fl) So being that it is now 2am my brother goes down to tell him to be quiet so he doesn't get himself in trouble. As soon as my brother opens the outside security door he gets jumped by pete. I am talking curb stomping kicking him in the face, kidneys etc. He really got his @$$ handed to him. When Pete saw all the blood he ran off, his gf saw the whole thing happen and just stood there, so he asked her to call 911 as he was profusely bleeding and she said she didn't want the police coming at 2 am, so he asked her to drive him to the hospital, she said she didn't want to wake up their kid and she didn't want blood in "her" truck (its totally his truck) anyway he called 911 then passed out. She never showed up at the hospital, never picked him up checked on him or anything.... He took a cab home. When he got home she was gone, leaving a note she would be at her mom's. My brother called a friend and got a ride by her mom's to see if she was there becuase he had a bad feeling that she had been acting weird.. Guess where she wasn't??? Anyway he went home with 11 stitches and his eye and mouth swollen shut, was out of work for a week. Pete works with him and he got to go to work how fair is that? So anyway She didn't come home till mon night, and he asked her for a ride to the PD so he could file charges for pete assulting him. She freaked out and begged him not to. SO sarcastically he said "What are you sleeping with him?" She got quiet and admitted she was. He kicked her out of the house. Next day she comes back says she is sorry ands will never talk to Pete again (He lives underneath my bro in the same building) He says he needs to think about alot of things but he might take her back. Next day he is drinking all day and night and calls me I talk to him until 4 am. He is super pissed that he walked by to go to the store and found her at Pete's house again!!! He LOSES it, aparently he never stopped drinking that night. He kept calling me freaking out telling me how he was shaking he was so mad.

The next morning i get a call from him (round 12) He is mad and telling me how he has nothing to live for how he shaved his head, how he is sorry for everything makes me promise i will tell his son that he always loved him etc. Tells me he tried to buy a gun but in nh you have to wait 3 days befre they will give it to you... So he took a bunch of pills and was trying to kill himself but he wanted me to know that he loved me etc. Tells me If i call my mom or the police or anyone to stop him or get him help that he is going to jump in his truck and drive it off a bridge (we have several ones that would be fatal in very close to his house) Immediately I hang up on him mid sentance and call my mom and tell her, she didn't take it seriously at first till i yelled at her. SHe gets in her car to go over there (She only lives 1.5 mi away) and she pounds on his apt door. Just as she goes to turn around to go back to her car to call lhim she sees him take off going like 80 down the road towards the bridge. She calls me to tell me and I hang up on her and call the NH police, telling them they have to find him and stop him. They told me they will keep an eye out but there isn't much they can do. Fast fw many hours of people looking for him and no one having any luck and him and the police getting worried they declared him a missing person statewide. they have my mom fill out paperwork saying any police officer that finds him nationwide has the right to arrest him and take him into protective custody regardless of juristiction. They try to call his phone several times and he won't answer. Now come 11 pm I am such a wreck and have been puking for hours i have been so upset. They had my mom fill out paperwork to identify all his tattoo's and scars incase it comes down to identifying his body. :waterworks:

They ping his phone and find out he is in East andover (Way out in the middle of Nowhere. So they send several officers and firemen out that way. Along the way they find his truck off the road (he tried to crash the guard rail but his truck just broke through and landed just shy of the ravine. The police call my mom and say they have brought in cadaver dogs incase my brother is unconscious in the woods. My uncle is a police officer several towns away and my cousin is a fireman in the same town, So they join the search. My brother says at some point he put his hands on his head and started coming out of teh woods to surrender himself. At that point my uncle had his police dogs with him and once he saw my brother told his dogs to "GET HIM" so they attacked my brother. Then he ran over and picked my brotehr off the ground laughing at him and asked him "HOW YOU LIKE THOSE DOGS COMING AFTER YOU DUMBASS?" Tells my brother he is a F'ing loser and a drunk and continues to laugh. My cousin comes over and continues to laugh in his face and pulls out his cell phone to take pics of my bro. WTF??? :censored: Seriously??? So I guess they were going to have my bro in an ambulance and take him to the hospital to check him out, but he started freaking out when the guys were taunting him so they put him in a cruiser instead..Where he proceded to try to kick out the cruiser windows!!!!
They transported hiim to jail and told my mom that they were going to immediately after he sobered up transport him to the phychiatric hosp for a 3 day observation and she would have the abilitity to involuntarily admit him for longer if she felt he was a danger to himself still. THEY LET HIM OUT AT 7 AM!!!!! seriously????? The man tried killing himself several times that night and poof a few hours later you let him out and let him walk 15 mi home??? The story just goes on from there.. but you get the jist of it....

Needless to say I am sooo drained........... So thouroughly emotionally drained. I was more scared that day of losing my brother than I have been all year of losing my husband..

To top it off I have been to one doc after another to try to figure out why I am in such horrible pain ALL THE TIME.... I have heard everything from I have huge kidney stones to gallstones to no there is none. I am soo frustrated becuase I have been in this pain since I had my hystorectomy in sept and that was suppose to be the begining of being pain free!!! No one can tell me why I am doubled over with back pain and pain under my rib cage why i have to pee every 5 min why I am soo swollen and why I have to sleep ALL THE TIME! The latest apt today the doc told me it must be acid reflux even though I have NO GI symptoms!!!:badday: Told me that the motrin i LIVE on is causing me to pee all the time, pee blood, be so tired, have REALLY high blood pressure and high pulse, causing me to swell etc. Basically he said the motrin i take is the root of all evil and that I had acid reflux and gas. ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS???? I swear I have nothing left anymore. I shouls be jumping through the roof excited becuase FINALLY my husband will be home in roughly two weeks but I havent' even had enough oomph to be happy about it!

So I am sorry I haven't been around since we changed forums, I am sorry I don't really talk to anyone anymore I just feel like I am tapped..... To top it off my brand new drier broke yesterday, I know it sounds like a stupid thing to be upset about but it was just the icing on the cake like I needed one more thing to stress about!

Thanks for listening and I am going to try to come on more, you girls have always been good at making me laugh, but please understand why I have been so distant for a while. I kept hoping my bro's situation was going to improve and that It wouldn't come to this. I miss you all!!!

Lana
02-19-2009, 12:14 AM
Ah Katie, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I hope your brother doesn't do anything stupid. I can't believe they let him out... doesn't seem right. I wish I could give you an idea as to what you have - I have acid reflux and that doesn't sound like it at all. Though your liver might be upset if you're taking motrin a lot. Or so a lot of people keep telling me. But I am glad to see you're back.. and I hate that you're having a tough time girl..

JessicaLynn
02-19-2009, 12:26 AM
wow.
that honestly sounds like a horrible nightmare that just kept getting worse and worse
I'm so sorry and hate that you and your brother are having such a hard time.
As the medical issues go, I wish I had the answer and cure to help you feel better
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers but know you always have us girls to go to<3

Mary Cat
02-19-2009, 12:48 AM
Katie, take all the time in the world that you need to recouperate.
We love you and we are going to be here for you no matter what.
I know how scary it must've been when your brother disappeared.
I've had sooo many issues with my sister being suicidal and doing and it's hard.
You were smart to call your mom and the police though
Soon your hubby will be home and you guys can just spend time cuddling and holding each other
Hopefully you can find a doctor soon that knows what they are talking about too
:bighug:
Let me know if there is anything you need

Armywm
02-19-2009, 12:54 AM
Glad you are back. You need a good place to talk when you are hurting. We are here for you no matter what. I am sorry for all you and your brother are going through.

Katie
02-19-2009, 07:46 AM
Thank you. My brother called last night and he was drunk again........ but he was telling me that he went t oa recruiters office and took his practice asfab and signed all the papers to let them pull his record etc. He said that he wants to enlist and get his life right, he claims the reason he was drunk was he wanted to finish off his 30 rack and be done with alchol all together, but I have heard this many many times so I dunno. I hope so. I told him I support him 100% if he wants to join the army ( I have my doubts they will take him with his record and no license I know they right wavors for alot but he has ALOT of skeletons..Anyyyyyyyyyyway, I told him that I support him 10% but that he can't use it as a reason to run away, he has to figure out WHY he drinks what is really getting to him or he will always have the problem it will just be in another state....

It sucks becuase I am sooo drained from dealing with his drinking but I can't turn my back to him he is my little brother.

MrsJoey
02-19-2009, 07:51 AM
i can relate to the alcoholic brother-that whole story sounds like stuff that ive dealt with a few times, so i can honestly said i understand and have been there. but i wont get into my stuff ;)
i am SO sorry all of this happened,and you had to deal with/go through all of this. its alot to handle-alot.
1. i hope your brother turns himself around and doesnt let that dumb girl run his life-he needs to live for him and his son
2. i really hope you start feeling better,asap
3. ive missed you,and im glad youre back :)

MrsJoey
02-19-2009, 07:53 AM
and p.s. my brother has talked numerous times about joining the army, and talked to a recruiter a few times--i tell him id support it, obv i married into the military but he has to take it SERIOUSLY and know that just cause he joins the army it isnt gonna just make everything right. he has to realize he has a problem,admit hes an alcoholic,and get his shit right.
my brother has a 1 yr old little girl with his girlfriend...

i never realized how similar our situations were girl!

Danie
02-19-2009, 07:53 AM
Katie... I love you! I am here for you anytime you need an ear to vent in or just someone to talk to. Wish I lived closer girl! I'll be praying for you.

Katie
02-19-2009, 08:53 AM
Kel, I told him the same thing. He has to find out WHY he has a prob drinking and WHY he is so upset, I mean this girl isn't the CAUSE he has been drinking for years, but she was the icing on the cake ya know? He kept telling me she was gonna keep his son from him no matter what he did so why not? Now he is serious about joining but he is afriad to sign away his rights, I guess the recruiter told him he had to sign away his parental rights with the court which scares him. I explained I didn't think it was perminant just while he was active duty but that I wasn't sure. I agree with you though if he doesn't fix the alcoholism the army is not going to help just mask the prob. He needs to learn coping skills period.

Nuky Loves Nue
02-19-2009, 09:11 AM
Katie,

I am so sorry to hear that you have been having such a rough time. I can't believe what your uncle and cousin did to your brother. That is really messed up. I really hope your brother gets the help he needs. As far as your brother signing over the rights of his child, I would tell him to check with another source about that. I know when I was in the Army in 1993 that was true. My husband and I would have had to sign over our rights in case we were deployed. I have heard that is no longer the case. I am not sure though, so please check with JAG or legal advice first.

You are absolutely right about him needing to deal with the alcohol problem. Even if he does join the military, his alcoholism may just get worse instead of better. I have seen quite a bit of it. I really hope for the best for him, and I will pray for you both.

Nuky

Danie
02-19-2009, 09:27 AM
Because they aren't married, and if he was the single parent, he would have to find someone to be a temporary guardian while he was in training and until he was somewhere more permanent. But since they aren't married, and he's not the single parent, I don't think he has to sign his rights away, but just state he has a child and the mother is the main caregiver and such. I would check with Legal also, but I've had many students as an instructor that had to do something similar while in training. Their parents would take the child until they got to their duty station, and just give them back. It was a temporary custody, but not signing away the rights as a parent.

Laura
02-19-2009, 11:01 AM
wow katie i just read this post....

im so sorry things have been so stressful/difficult/not going your
way lately. i really hope things turn around and get
figured out with your brother. ive been there when you feel
like theres nothing left to live for and its hard but hopefully
he can see you guys love him and find the strength to figure
things out.

as for your health....i'd be about ready to kick the doctors in THEIR kidneys
they need to figure that junk out because well dammit you
need to be in TOP condition for when your hubby comes
home cuz boww chikka woowww wowww it'll be on like donkey kong ;)

Christy
02-19-2009, 12:46 PM
Wow Katie! That is just nuts. Just try and stay positive!! We're here for you. :bighug:

colleen
02-19-2009, 02:56 PM
Girl I'm sending lots of hugs your way...stay strong and keep that pretty little chin up..you will get through this tough situation soon

Belinda
02-19-2009, 04:15 PM
Wow, hon. :bighug::bighug:
You know we're all here for you, to make you laugh and listen to you rant. I can't even imagine how hard that must all be for you (I know what it's like to get those 4am calls).
I hope that your brother gets the help that he needs and that you feel better.

Jamie
02-19-2009, 06:38 PM
katie, i love you so much <3 i am so sorry you have had all this on your plate. no one deserves to have to go through this much emotional pain on top of the physical pain they already are endeering. but it just goes to show you how strong of a woman you are. i am proud of you for making it through this. i am proud of your brother [though he may not have made smart decissions] for continuing to talk to you and share th close relationship you all have. i don't know where he'd be if it wasn't for you. it's terrible your cousin and uncle acted the way they did, infact it's disgusting and unforgiveable behavior. i hope it doesn't hurt you more, though. i know it's hard to stay positive through all of this, maybe you can try doing some things with your kids? iunno, just like small arts & crafts or go to the park, anything really to take your mind off of these terrible things. kids [though i don't have any of my own] always find a way to show me the innocence and joy in life. they're young and carefree and they remind you that life doesn't always have to be so serious. i hope you're able ti find time for yourself and relax...i know you've gotta have like an hour or something...even with josh gone...you deserve it.

i love you lady, and i have missed you so much <3 i can understand why you'd distance yourself. i would've too. keep in mind you have me [and tons of other people] who love you and care about you and you're always in their thoughts <3 i hope things start to look up for you.