PTSD....

[MrsJoey]

who's dealing with it, dealt with it, going throught it,ect?

ive read into it since the day joey deployed--but this past time he came home signs started showing,he finally admitted outloud to me and himself he DOES have it, and its been creeping out more and more since then.

so lets talk about it! questions,thoughts,concerns,fears,tips,ect!

[Meredith]

mike refuses he has it....I know he has nightmares sometimes but he always talks to me about those and they're not usually like violent. Just like he can't get home or he can see me on the plane and he can't get to the plane, sometimes he has dreams about his buddies dying in weird situations...never in Iraq. It concerns me sometimes but I just keep an eye on him...I know even if he did exhibit more signs I can't help him unless he wants to be helped so like I said I just keep an eye on it.

Definitely scary. How's Joey doing Kel?

[MrsJoey]

while he was still in iraq he started getting migraines...then when he came home--thats when it started coming out more.
hes BEEN having nightmares but its been more frequent,always about iraq, he jerks alot in his sleep and will jerk awake and freak out a bit--hes even reached for his gun a few times by the side of the bed. of course theres no gun. i just try to stay calm, i dont touch him, and just talk really soft-reminding him he's at home. when we were at the beach for the 4th fireworks went off and my heart stopped, i turned to look at joey and sure enough it scared the shit out of him, he just about dropped to the ground.
then ive noticed a sort of anxiety he's developed. its like he makes a super small mistake and beats himself up about it,just wont let it go. then almost always it goes from whatever mistake hes made to something in iraq. he opened up a bit more this past time and told me he's having more nightmares/headaches/flashbacks. he had a flashback once in the car and i had ZERO idea,until he told me about it later. in his left ear also,itll go dead and just start ringing..
ive just started noticing more and more signs here recently. he called me tonight and was really upset. he was at a party in the barracks and one of the guys had a meltdown about iraq, soldiers+PTSD+alcohol=no good. joey helped the guy through it but once he got back to his room HE started reliving things. he said all the memories he tried to push away started coming back. i talked him through it and told him its ok,its NORMAL to feel this way,and its ok to talk about it.
when he was home this past time he finally broke down and admitted "i have PTSD...maybe i should go to therapy?" which is HUGE for him. he always denied having it and hid it so well even though i saw little signs here and there.

it breaks my heart bc i feel like theres nothing i can do to help him, except listen. i wish i could make it all better and take it all away for him. its hard to sit back and watch. hes never ever been violent--its more of an inner turmoil. i hate it for him. i hate it for ANY of the guys who have it/go through it. doesnt seem fair.

[Spahr]

Kelly you are helping him the best you can! If he can openly admit that he may need/want outside help you should help him find it because there are things you can not do that a professional WILL be able to. It's awesome that you are sticking by him and that he is opening up but if he's willing to get the help and since it is readily available you should help him look into it.

[MrsJoey]

oh fo sho! ive supported therapy from day one (i was a psych major ;) ) so i told him i thought it was a wooonderful idea. a friend of mine has a degree in psych and is finishing up her masters--so ive talked to her about it alot, and already looked into the local VA. ive been wanting him todo it but didnt wanna push it on him. now that we've talked about it ive jumped right into research ;)

[Spahr]

Kelly if I was a soldier I would marry you! lol you're fan-frickin-tastic!

[Lindsay]

i agree kelly its great that you're so supportive of him and helpful :)

aaron has some small signs of it- like when he was home for r&r just some things bothered him like driving under overpasses and loud sounds and he would wake up scared to death in the middle of the night...im gonna see how it is when he comes home for good and see if maybe something needs to be done about it (i worry he wont admit it :( )

[KristiMarie]

awww Im TERRIFIED JM will come back with something terrible. He already sleepwalks really bad at times, one night I woke up cause I thought someone was in my room, and he was sitting in front of his computer just STARING at me, i just thought he couldnt sleep cause he has a really hard time sleeping when im not there... but he was sleepwalking and staring at me. He has also been known to drive his car in his sleep and not know where it is the next morning. It scares me so much.

Plus my mom has told me so many stories about how when my dad got back from Nam he would like wake up and jump on her and choke her. I dont know how many times he did it to her, or would wake up screaming his head off, but my mom said it was scary as crap.

[littleurban]

I am def. so scared that Matt will be like this when he comes home from this second deployment and I know that he won't say anything! I think the most just because he will be in Cali. away from family.

I think you are doing a great job Kelly!

[Meredith]

I forgot about that one, Mike def jerks a lot in his sleep and he moans sometimes too. not a sexy moan! lol....more of like he's in pain...it's hard. Kelly you're doing great! I think the best thing we can do is like you said talk softly, remind them their safe, hold them when they need it, and when they're ready to talk about it encourage them to talk as much as you can and therapy is even better! Talking to someone who is impartial to how he feels might make him more willing to talk about it. I'm glad he's doing ok Kel!

[asoldierssweetie]

kelly, you are so awesome and supportive to your hubby. he is so lucky to have you. :) you are doing a great job, and you also have a huge support system here :)

the wives i have met of husbands with PTSD have been less than supportive. the few PTSD cases i have been close to were also being treated for TBI. that is a whole new ballgame when it comes to this.

i am afraid of what my husband is going to come home to me like. all i can do is be supportive and listen, and encourage therapy/couseling.

[~*Kandice*~]

Kelly your being awesome and supportive!! you doing a good job helping him through it!! Jason goes through it. He's in therapy and taking meds. I'm just not good with him talking about the iraq stuff because it makes me cry so thats where i'm sucky on the support thing. He jerks in his sleep. and freaks out in stores. Sees people that died walking around in stores. He once told me he was going to shoot me when he was asleep....i got up for something and he told me not to move or he's shoot me. I dont touch him in his sleep because sometimes i get hit if i'm not careful. and i feel sooooo bad because when i tell him the next morning what he did he gets all depressed and stuff and feels so bad for what he did when i know he didnt mean to. Its hard sometimes he's been doing good lately so thats good. being supportive is the best thing you can do and you seem to be doing a awesome job!!!

[Kristi Rae]

Idk the only time I really knew Jordan to have a bad flash back was when we were going to visit a friend who lived off a dirt road with a bunch of bumps...I dont think he would flash back b/c there was a bunch of green trees around but his truck kicked up to much dust...that and I have an anxiety with cars/driving so I am sure me trying to keep my panic attack down didnt help him all that much. all i remember was him speeding up all of the sudden to get off the dirt road and onto a paved one thankfully it wasnt busy or we would have pulled out and hit someone. I think he actually pulled over but that was b/c of me flipping out! not the best supportive move on my part.
The most recent would be a few nights ago (while in Iraq) he all of the sudden couldnt sleep. Jordan has an on/off switch when it comes to sleep he could be out in seconds and up most times with out issue. so it was a bit unsettling that he couldnt get to sleep he said it was b/c he couldnt turn off all his thoughts and i never really asked what he was thinking about.
I worry about him telling me the stories...I have only heard the funny ones and few of the scary ones. I just hope that when he does open up that i wont start crying or flipping out myself.