not sure how i feel

[snwalways41903]

im so excited that my brother is having a lil girl, first on my side, but its just kinda surreal to me, my mom always sounds so excited, and im happy for them and everything, but it was all good till they announced the babies name, and they are referring to the baby as her name!! i dont wanna ruin anything, but they picked the name (alyssa) that was supposed to be my daughters name, i had that name picked since my 5 yr old was in my belly and all 3 of my boys would have been named alyssa if any of them were girls!! i dont wanna be a party pooper but im sad about that, and im not sure how to feel or what to think about this!! i know they didnt do it on purpose, but its just eating away at me, cause i wanted a girl so much, william and i both regret getting my tubes tied and him fixed, we have even cried about it on a few different occassions, so this is just a shot to the heart! they are even using my moms middle name, which starts with a M, which would make her intials AM, what i wanted my daughter to be so i could use my best friend's (who was killed) initials which are AM!!! so its like a double whammy!

[MichaelaEScheerens]

Have you tried to talk to your brother about this? There's still a lot of time and parents change the babies name several times usually before it's born. Try sitting down and talking to him... are you planning on trying to have (or adopt) more? If they Like Alyssa for it's meaning or sound there are many other names that are similar...

[Kira]

Aww Sherry, I am sorry. I think talking to your brother would be helpful. I mean even if they don't change the name at least he would be able to understand your feelings.

[Kathryn]

aww im sorry hunny.. :( i dont really have any words of advise here but i hope you start feeling better

[Erin]

:bighug: I'm sorry hun!

[Mary Cat]

I know it must be hard sweetie. I mean as for the name thing, Matt and I have names picked out for if we have a boy or a girl and they have meaning to them and all the sudden everyone I know is using our boys name :\
As for regretting getting "fixed", have you thought about adopting a girl?

[MichaelaEScheerens]

IF (and it's a big if) you want to have more children- especially a girl- I know there are MANY MANY MANY african american girl and boy babies looking for good homes. Perhaps you would be interested in adopting to add to your family?

*personal story time so feel free to skip this part!* I'm one of 7 Kids... the oldest to be exact. the Youngest 2 are adopted, both are african american. At first I looked at my parents when they said they were adopting and the baby would be of another race like they had 17 heads and were turning into aliens right in front of me. then I realized something about my brother, Caleb (now almost 2), After we'd had him for a week, he wasn't a stranger he wasn't someone else's kid, he wasn't any different than any of my other siblings. He's just like the others. he annoys me like the others, I love him like the others, he's adorable and goofy like any other kid. Then Cameron came along... yeah cam's a pill ;) but he's cute (and 13 months so getting into EVERYTHING!) I'm not trying to talk you into adopting or adoption another race, but it might be something to look into. *Story time over...*


*ok not quite....* one more thing, My cousin (who's 8) was about 6 or 7 when she and Caleb were coloring at the kitchen table one saturday. My aunt and mom were sitting there having coffee and looked over at them being so cute together to see that Caitlyn (my cousin) had grabbed caleb's hand and was flipping it over to look at his palm then the back of his hand, back and forth. She did this for about 5 minutes, Caleb just coloring like nothing was going on. Finally she looked at my aunt and mom and asked "Is he a different color than me? or am I a different color than him?!?" it was adorable!!!!! He was about a year old at the time and she had yet to notice that he was a different race...

I hope that helps...

[snwalways41903]

thanks yall!!

yeah michaela we have thought about adopting, and we actually said that when darren is 2 if we still feel as strongly about wanting a lil girl we will adopt a lil girl by then!!

as far as my brother using the name, i have just decided that i may not get my alyssa but ill have his alyssa to spoil, so its kinda easing things a lil!!

[ReginaCherie]

im sorry honey.

[ashandbrons]

I'm sorry Sherry. That is a really good way to look at it! I don't see why you still couldn't use the name, even if you adopted! You would just have 2 Alyssa's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[littleurban]

that is a great way to look at things!!! and if anything I'm with the girls, try to talk to your brother about it.