planning my wedding... with no set date!!!... and a little drama ;)

[MichaelaEScheerens]

Zach has been told that after Selection/SOPC he has 10 days of leave... so we're getting hitched! buuuuuuuut our dear Uncle Sam has yet to tell us when it is he'll be home!!!!! anyone know when he/we might find out the dates? he's in the Army (my cousin is a Marine so I know the marine structure to everything but the Army is so different!)

so far we have everything set EXCEPT the day! (and I'm still waiting on my ring from Ft. Bragg...) >< My parents and he know when I'm getting it but they won't tell me! and I hate surprises!

The only set back Zach and I have in our plans is actually from other people. We met back in high school (5 years ago) (i'm 20 in August, he's 22) so yeah we're young. but we've also been dating almost 2 months... so it's been fast. Neither of us wanted to get married so early. we didn't even want a relationship to tie us down because of our careers (he a soldier, I'm a firefighter) and we didn't want to give up anything originally... but he's my other half. quite literally we've logically tried to talk ourselves out of dating... then getting married but we couldn't be more excited and it's working out perfectly (we're having an outdoor wedding in one of our yards and between our friends we've got the photographer covered along with the DJ for FREE and are having a potluck picnick for the reception, we've got invitations and everything being done for free as well, and my uncle is making an arbor for us to get married under, my grandmother is making skirts for the bridesmaids so that we can match the army green and the blue we picked to save the girls and guys as much money as we could and so they all look stunning!!!!) My parents bought my gown and everything!

here's the hitch- Because we haven't been together long many people are starting to talk and (not that it should) it's getting to me. I've been asked numerous times if I'm pregnant. I'm not. It's starting to bother me too because being pregnant isn't a bad thing, nor is getting married, but except for a few people i'm getting negative reactions. and I am getting to LOVE (insert sarcastic tone here) the constant "are you sure" "do you know what you're getting yourself into" and "it won't last" "you're making a mistake" and finally "the divorce is going to be expensive".... grrrrrrrr any advice as to handle people like this (other than ignoring them, which i've been doing, even though i just want to blow up in their faces)

Thanks ladies!

[Kira]

Ignore people's comments. I know I know easier said than done, let them talk, people love to talk.

We were married way before the Army. We didn't get maried quick into our relationship but we did get pregnant quick. My friends said the same thing and begged me not to marry him, I didn't. So I moved away stopped talking to friends got pregnant again and decided to finally get married, and couldn't be happier with that choice.

People ( family and friends ) also talked when he decided to join the Army, but I think it has been the best decision for us since the Army has given us a great opportunity to own our own home.

[ashandbrons]

I agree with Kira!!

My hubby and I where married about 7 months after we met!! Everyone said the same thing about us!! We have been married for 3 years now and are still going strong!! We have a 21 month old and are just finishing up with our first deployment!! I love my family more then anything and I wouldn't change anything about my life!! I know right now it seems hard to ignore but just keep your head and spirits up and make it your job to prove them wrong!!

[MichaelaEScheerens]

Thanks ladies! I was feeling like I'm the only woman to go through this! lol I swore I'd never marry a man in uniform (not even a cop!) and the little snot swept me off my feet! haha!!!

You guys are a real inspiration to me! I don't know how I'll handle his first deployment!

[ashandbrons]

Its a challenging life but the rewards are great! Hubby and I have never been more in love! you will find this inner strength that you didn't know you had and it will get you through it!! Its a wonderful thing to be married to a man in uniform!!! We will always be here for ya too! These girls really helped me through all the stresses!!!!

[Spahr]

lol I'm the queen of rushing into things! It's not always a good thing but thats just the way I am! Really all you can do is ignore their comments and 5 years down the road laugh in their faces!

[snwalways41903]

let em talk hun, we were both 19 when we got married, we heard alot of negativity too, BUT we did it, and even when people said it wouldnt last we just said whatever and proved them all wrong, we have been married for 6 years!! so dont worry as long as you both love each other, you are the 2 in the relationship, its not you two and everyone else!! follow your heart do whats best for you and your fiance, and ignore ignorance, afterall they dont know whats in your's or his hearts!! goodluck with everything hun, and remember age is just a number, it doesnt matter how old you are when you marry but how mature you are!!!

[KristiMarie]

sometimes wtih the army... you are forced to rush. it happens, If you know this is right for you, who cares what others think, its your life not theirS!

[Belinda]

I'm in a similar situation to you. Erik (my fiance) and I met almost 5 years ago. We were close friends for many of those years, then 2 years ago we actually started dating. Well, we've been out of high school a year, and he's deploying in the Spring, and we decided, okay, we're doing it this winter. No, it's not the way I'd always imagined it, yes it's a little rushed, but we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together.

And OHHHHH YES do I hear "Are you pregnant?" or "you're not pregnant are you? Please tell me you aren't pregnant" alongside "you're too young" "well, there's always divorce later", and my favorite "You really should go out and see the world, experience more things, date more people, before settling down, you can't do anything once you're married"

I'm sick of it just like you are. And I found the point where I just look them in the eye, tell them I am not pregnant, I love him, and this is my choice and they need to let me make it if they want to be a part of my future life. I believe this is what friends and relatives refer to as "bitch Belinda." But putting your foot down is important. This should be a very happy time for you, do not allow others to get you down! You're getting married!!! How exciting is that??? :)

[ReginaCherie]

just blow them off. a lot of us have gone through this. my mom used to tell me that if we got married scott was going to cheat when he was deployed. and scotts dad would tell him that i was going to cheat.

they dont know our relastionship and its the same with you. if you guys really love each other and you know this right for you then dont worry about the rest of them.

[MichaelaEScheerens]

:) I've started using the following reply with people: "do you really think wasting your breath trying to talk me out of what i've got my heart set on is really going to work?"

it's shutting them up :)

for example- last night with a woman from my parents church who came up to me at my sisters graduation (the nerve...) and said "we'll talk later about your decision" yeah... shut her up!!!!

oh and my boss found out the other day (idk who squealed, though i'm not surprised 'cause all of my co workers knew) and her response was "you're crazy. you don't understand. you kids are just screwing over your life and you'll learn later how stupid you're being and do you really know what you're getting into with the military lifestyle? I can tell you he's not worth it." yeah... my reply ("do you really think wasting your breath trying to talk me out of what i've got my heart set on is really going to work?") reeeeeeeeeeeeally shut the :censored: up ;)

besides i was off the clock when i said it and she was overstepping her boundaries anyway so i can't even get in trouble for saying it hehe

[Spahr]

Seriously I think the more people tell me no the more I want to prove them wrong. Plus when has ANYONE ever been able to convince ANYONE not to do something by saying derogatory things!?

[KristiMarie]

Ohhhhhh man its like telling a little kid dont eat crayons... whats the first thing they do... EAT CRAYONS lol

[Spahr]

I'll be sure to let Audrey know that Auntie Kristi said to eat all the crayons she wants! lol (Charlie is reading over my shoulder and said "NO!)

[Mary Cat]

Ignore people.
My husband and I are both 20 and just got married two months ago.
People were asking us all the time why we were getting married so young and why at all and blah blah but we're lovign it!
If you know it's right, you know it. The two of you are the only ones who can decide what's right for you :)

[abrown0905]

Luckily for my husband and I no one said anything like that...at least not to our face. My co-workers and ex-boss we were very happy for me, but then again my boss had two sons who both were in the Army. However, because we had a JOP wedding, no one really seemed to take things seriously, which still makes me angry today!

I mean the military lifestyle isn't easy, but thats no reason not to marry the person you love. I know a lot of my non-military friends say they don't think they could do it...and I just say... Well we are deeply in love with each other and keeping that in mind all the time just makes going through all of this a little easier. Just because you know things are going to be difficult doesn't mean you shouldn't marry the one you love....

Maybe they've never experienced real love... or maybe she just needs a lil suttin suttin... lol

[asoldierssweetie]

i agree. ignore what people say. chris and i knew each other for a month and a half, were dating for 3 weeks when we got engaged/married, and that was almost 4 years ago. people said we were insane, but we knew it was right. i love him more than anything in the world, and i knew that the second we met!! i was 25, he was 24 and people said we were still too young to marry. you will always be too young to get married these days. :)

congratulations on the upcoming wedding!! it is very exciting to hear :)

[MichaelaEScheerens]

you ladies are awesome! thanks so much for the support! each time a new reply popped up it was exactly what I needed to read!!!! i'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with my man!