Alcoholism

[heatherscott1989]

Hello,
I am new to the site, and I am in need of some advice. I am currenty engaged to a former marine, he has already served his four years. He has a drinking problem, and I though that we had things under control, but he started drinking behind my back. I dont know what to do anymore, he has completly changed and I dont know how to get him to stop drinking.

[Tissa]

Alcholism is like any other addiction you can't make him stop. All you can do is explain your worries to him and hope he listens. If you have support from his friends and/or parents you could all talk to him about it.
Other then that I really don't know, I'm sorry you guys are having such a tough time. Good Luck!

[ashandbrons]

I agree with Tissa. I know that you want to help him but he won't change until he is ready to stop and he hits rock bottom. Addictions are so hard to deal with and its not a good thing to have in your life. I would try to talk with him about it. See how he responds. If he says he is not ready to stop then I would make a decision as to whether or not you want to stay. I hope he finds it in his heart to stop! If you need anything please let me know!

[Spahr]

An intervention is what you need. If he does have a problem I'm sure you are not the only one who has noticed or the only who wants him to seek help. Check with his friends and family and see if you can get everyone together. Google intervention and you can actually find intervention leaders that can help you through the process. I know it seems extreme but I wish we had done this years ago with my mother. Good luck hunny and if you need anything let me know. I've been there and I know how hard it is!

[heatherscott1989]

The thing is, is that I have talked to him so many times. And it always just comes back to the war, and he uses that as the reason to why he drinks to much. He keeps telling me that he wants to change, but I just dont see it happening. I finally moved out of our apartment last night becasue he was being so mean while drinking. I am only moving out for at the most a week, but I really want him to show me that he is going to change rather than just tell me, because right now his words mean nothing because he has lied to me so many times about it.

[Spahr]

I've been dealing with it with my mom for 6-7 years now. We have all talked to her. She has swore she was going to change. Talk just isn't enough. You did good leaving, but leaving for a week won't change him. He needs to start going to AA or even check himself into rehab. The military offers things to help deal with PTSD, which in some cases lead to drinking/alcoholism. Look them up online and see what there is in your area or even help him look these things up and go with him, if he doesn't want to go alone. Although, he does need to become comfortable to the point where he can go alone because I am sure there are things he may want to talk/share that he may not be ready to do so in front of you. But let him know you support him and will help him and stay with him through the whole process. And if your are going to leave be serious about it!

[littleurban]

Hey,

I agree with Spahr! I went through this for 21 yrs with my Dad before he ended up going cold turkey...

If you would like pm me and I can let you know what my experience and what not was with it.

[ReginaCherie]

heather first off i love you!!!!!!!!

next this is a tough one. i think he should get help. if it really is PTSD then he can get help for it. and AA is always a good step. but he really does need to want to change. you cant make him.

i love you call me if you wanna talk.

[KristiMarie]

Im PMing you right NOW

[Tissa]

You should also look into counseling or some type of support for yourself. There's a group for friends and family of alcholics, thats goes with AA. But I don't think you have to have someone go through AA at the same time, you just have to know an Alcholic. Anyway it would probably help to talk to someone who's going through the same thing or a counselor.

[Christy]

That is a very serious issue. I would try to talk to him again and explain to him how his drinking affects you and others around him. Offer to go to a support group with him or something. If it's really because of the war, then he should take advantage of what the Military offers or look into another form of treatment. I hope it all works out for you.

[Cortnie DeNise]

I'm sure you have tried talking to him, but let him know that this is very serious. He has to realize that he has a problem and that he wants to change. Suggest going to AA meeting with him. Let him know that you love him and are there for him.

[abrown0905]

You should also look into counseling or some type of support for yourself. There's a group for friends and family of alcholics, thats goes with AA. But I don't think you have to have someone go through AA at the same time, you just have to know an Alcholic. Anyway it would probably help to talk to someone who's going through the same thing or a counselor.


Yah..if u want to go to Al-Anon (which is the group for family etc of Alcoholics) the person who has the alcohol problem does NOT need to be going to AA... This is a separate support group. It is just for the family and friends dealing with this addiction. I have never been. I have been told its a great group...My biological father is an alcoholic...Has been for 26 years or more... He has never stopped. The best thing (i think) is to catch it early and hopefully get the person to realize how it is affecting everyone around them, especially their loved ones. It can be frustrating and I certainly hope he will go and get some help..!!! Hang in there and I hope for the best for you and yours!!!