8 month blues perhaps?

[colleen]

So we're almost at the 8 month mark of this deployment, which should be a good thing, and I should be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel right? But lately all I feel is disconnected to my husband. I don't cry, I don't mope around and really I don't feel like I am even married some days. (Not that I act otherwise, far from it, I tell people I meet I'm married all the time.) I just think I have been living this way for so long I don't remember what it's like to live with my husband. Why don't I cry or feel upset about him being gone any more? I have missed 2 phone calls this week because he calls during the school day while I'm teaching, and I am not overly upset about this. Something is wrong?! I love my husband dearly and know that when he comes back everything will pick up right where we left off (it certainly did when he came for R&R) but I just feel like I have gotten too comfortable with him being gone. I know I need to put more effort into our relationship, including sending him more emails, letters, or packages for these last few months, but I have been saying this for a while and am just not driven to do so. Why have I become so emotionless?? Someone motivate me please!!!

[Meredith]

Oh Colleen! I think we've all been there! Because Mike's R&R was so early we went a year without seeing one another and there were PLENTY of nights/days where I felt like I was engaged to an imaginary person. I felt like I gave myself a ring and made him up. I don't think it's that you're emotionless hun, I think you've finally gotten used to deployment. You missed calls but you're finally comfortable with the fact that he'll call again. You know he's going to come home. You know he still loves you. And you're fine where you are....even though you miss him. Sometimes it's easier to feel emotionless than it is to be upset about something, especially when it's a deployment and they can be over a year long! You've hit that rut where you've gotten SO Far but the end still isn't quite in sight yet and you're tired of it and just don't have the energy to react to it. Trust me in a month or two when he starts talking about coming home and you get a little closer the emotions will all come rushing back - out of control!! lol Right now being emotionless is your safety net...just hang in there. Just cause you're feeling a little blah doesn't change a thing!

:bighug:

[Danie]

Colleen!!!
Silly girl... we all go through that. You still miss him the same, you just stopped expressing it. You've learned to internalize it. You know you feel about him, you still love him - if not more, and you continue to miss him. You have just adjusted to life lacking his physical presence right now. That is normal. You are still married, you are still acting married, but without him physically there, life IS different. Not that it's a bad thing, but you've just become accustomed to it. Everyone adjusts differently. I found a ton of those .49/.99 cent cards at walmart.... I would send one out a week. Now with the stamp prices... you pay the same to mail it. lol... You are doing great... and I know it's different and awkward... but it's ok. Just remember everyone is different!:mafia:

[MrsJoey]

i agree with mere and danie- ive been through this too! and at first it scared me bc i was like 'what is wrong with me!?' but its just...you get used to it. you go through the crying and anger and missing him so much it hurts, moping, ect and then one day its like...its gone! youre just used to it!

send him a card once a week like D said, just so he knows you're thinking of him :cloudnine: if you miss a call and dont get upset about it-remind yourself its bc you KNOW he will call again. no worries girl, its totally normal and we've all gone through it!

im PROUD of you :) !! and like mere said, when it gets close to him coming home youll be so filled with emotions itll be hard to stand it!!

[Meredith]

Danie and I were just talking about you lol...ALL GOOD I PROMISE!! But we kinda came to the conclusion that in a way girl...you've hit the spot!! The spot where deployment is finally easy!! Don't feel guilty either, it just means you've finally adjusted to it...I'm with Kelly! I'm real proud of you! You've kept your head through it all!

[colleen]

Oh ladies how I love you! Everything you've said makes perfect sense and I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way! I just need a swift kick in the butt to get going and push through this last little bit I guess! Thanks for listening to my whiney self. :thanks:

[ReginaCherie]

i wish i could help but scotts be gone 4 months and he wont be gone for 8. but i really dont think your alone. everythings going to be your just used to life right now.

[MrsJoey]

Thanks for listening to my whiney self. :thanks:

youre so not whiney girl!! we're ALWAYS here, and youre doin great my dear, no worries!

[Kathryn]

Congrats on making it to the "spot"!!! Maybe now it will go by a little faster for ya! =]

[Cortnie DeNise]

You've made it this far...you can do it!!!!