ughhh....

[Lindsay]

Sooo...I was talking to Aaron on the phone today and everything was fine until he started talking about deploying again in 2 years. Apparently people in his unit have been saying that theres a chance they could redeploy in 2 years, after they get back...I think it just hit me really hard because we're only halfway through his first deployment.
Somehow after this we started talking about how he might want to go active duty army rather than reserves after his time is up. I really dont mind this, I am just super confused because he has been telling me that he wants to wait and get married after hes out of the army which I am completely fine with- but now he is saying he doesnt know what his plans are, and I am just worried. I know he still wants to be with me, I just want to know what hes thinking!!
I got really upset during our conversation, and maybe its selfish of me and I have no reason to- he asked me to tell him when I was ready to get married and I told him I am ready to spend the rest of my life with him now but I feel like he doesnt understand because he said he wants to wait until I graduate and live together and see how things go-am i wrong for thinking when he asked me that i assumed that he was ready now?! But when I said that there are still a lot of things we needed to do before we ever got married (live together and all that) he said maybe we should just change our status to "in a relationship" rather than "engaged"- i think he was being sarcastic about it, but im not so sure.
ughhh i just dont get it...:(:confused:

[Meredith]

He's got Iraq brain hun! I think they all go through it. Some more than others. They're not sure what they want or they're gungho and have to have it. Before Mike deployed he wanted kids NOW ....now I can't even get him to think about it. I know some of the other girls have experienced the let's wait. I think they start to worry that they won't come home (as sad as it is I think we all fear it) and they're worried about the way you'd handle that. Mike had a near death experience and he wouldn't let me get off the phone until I promised to move on after him...something I didn't want to think about. I don't think you're wrong for assuming he was ready when he asked you. That's kind of implied when they ask ;) But just remember he's going through a lot and when he does get that free time it's wayyyy too much free time and their brains get the best of them. Just keep your chin up. Everything will fall into place the way it's supposed to. I know it's hard and they make you feel really shitty sometimes but in some ass backwards way they think they're helping...they disconnect a little. Hang in there hun!!

:bighug:

[Lindsay]

thanks mere- it helps to talk to everyone on here so much...its hard to talk to my friends here at school about it because they just dont understand:(

[Meredith]

Trust me!! I totally understand that! I had anti-military bitch from hell for a roommate!! You know we're always here for you hun. Just keep your chin up and chalk it up to him being over in Iraq. Deployments are hard but this is what will make your relationship stronger. When he gets home you'll both know exactly what you want and appreciate one another 10000 times more!

[ReginaCherie]

mere's right. they all go through stuff like this. as much as our guys try to be tough for the most part their scared too. as long as you make sure he knows you love him thats all that matter.

[Mouse]

The girls are totally right. Tom and I were going through the same thing not too long ago. Just reassure him and try to let it go. You will have plenty of time to work it out when he is home. And by then he will most likely have changed his mind a few more times. :)

[Cortnie DeNise]

Just let him know you are there for him and love him and when the time is right for all else to happen then it will. :)

[Mary Cat]

The best thing to do is just talk to him.
When Matt proposed to me I found out that he had planned on doing it like 4 months earlier but we had been arguing a lot at that time so he didn't think it was an appropriate time to do it and he was right.

I didn't think there was a big difference between being engaged and being married, but there is. I know we've only been married a few weeks but things do change (Not negatively but still).
He might be ready to commit to just you but not quite ready to call you his wife yet. It doesn't mean he loves you any less though, believe I've been there.

Nobody can tell you how he feels or how you should feel so just make sure you communicate with him.

Love you :bighug:

[Nuky Loves Nue]

Mere is completely right!! Kudos!