PDA

View Full Version : For my First Timers!


Meredith
04-24-2009, 09:28 PM
Danie and I were chatting the other day about deployments and what not and I thought I'd try to offer a little advice. This is not directed at anyone of you specifically, but generally. Just some thoughtful words that I thought may help. I am by no means an expert only after one deployment myself but...I don't know. Just want to help! I love you girls and I want to see smiles!

First off, it sucks!! We all feel ya and we know what you're going through. We're totally here for you always, no matter what. We're all sisters!

I think the biggest problem is with deployment is the first few weeks into a month or two. The adjustment period is especially hard whether you're living together or not. Getting into that new "routine" can be hard. Our guys are all doing different things in different places and have different things available to them. But you WILL establish a routine. Once they start doing what they're doing they'll find places and times where they're able to call home. Some more frequently than others. During this time I think it's best to take the few days and cry our eyes out but after a week or so you have to wake up and decide to take the bull by the horns. You need to get out of bed and keep living your life. Your husband, boyfriend, and fiancé – whom ever would not want you sitting around all sad and waiting on them every day while they're away, the more you sit around and wait the harder and the longer the waiting is. Try to keep busy. Set new goals, learn new crafts, go to the gym, take your kids to a new and exciting place, set up family adventures or family nights, take trips to see friends, read a book… anything to stay busy. Get out of the house! Cell phones are amazing, they come with us! So just remember that sitting attached to your computer all day isn't healthy ((as much as we love you and want you around always!!!)) and it's not good for the relationships you have with your friends. Just because you're guy is gone doesn't mean your world is over; you have family and friends who love you dearly. They struggle to understand you sometimes but that’s why we're here to pick up the slack.

Just try not to get into that deployment funk. I know it's hard, and you're lonely, and you miss him like hell but the more you sit around and feel bad for yourself (which we're all guilty of INCLUDING me!!) the worse you'll feel. Of course we're all entitled break down days, to cry our eyes out, and lie in bed like a miserable bum but just try not to make a habit out of it. You'll make yourself miserable and worry your s/o and they need to be focused not worrying about you over something goofy!

So ladies if you're feeling down and you're having trouble getting going after your guy leaves, find one of us to commiserate with. Spend the night chatting and talking it out with a glass of wine or a cold beer and when you go to sleep that night promise yourself that you will make tomorrow better.

My motto during my first deployment was: the sun always comes up tomorrow and tomorrow is a new day!

Make tomorrow a better day ladies! For every tomorrow you're one day closer to gettin him home! Take it one day at a time and keep moving don't get stuck in a rut!

Love you tons girls!!

:bighug:

KristiMarie
04-24-2009, 10:05 PM
MERE I LOVE YOU!!1


Honestly while it sucks I have to come back and take finals... I know after that first week I have ALL summer to adjust to how things are going to be... and im a night owl which might come in handy!

littleurban
04-24-2009, 11:12 PM
Thanks for writing that :) I know I will def. be reading it when I get in one of those I don't want to get out of my bed days!!

MrsJoey
04-24-2009, 11:14 PM
dude im almost done with this deployment, and i loved this-mere you rock :) GREAT advice that i agree with 100%, you are right on point :) !!

Kira
04-25-2009, 07:38 AM
Aww thank you for sharing that! I agree keeping busy is a great idea. I know sooner or later we will go through our first deployment and your words will come in handy!

ReginaCherie
04-25-2009, 07:20 PM
mere i love you!

Tissa
04-27-2009, 03:10 AM
Thanks for writting this my hubby leaves for pre-deployment training real soon. And its starting to hit me like a ton of bricks. But I've started going to martial arts more often and I have loads of other stuff I can do to. So I will take your advice and make the best of things. :)

Kristi Rae
08-23-2009, 10:37 PM
I agree for the most part getting it all out of your system the first day or two but I suggest the next few days after that you do a few things solo. Read a book, go to the spa/shop, in my case just wonder around the park taking photos. Anything that will help calm you down and where you dont have to keep talking about the deployment. That and I have found more so on this deployment the ppl dont think before they speak as much as they should. I have had several friendships badly hurt b/c they said something that really hurt me at the wrong time. If you feel like you could still "lose it" and lose it big time it is best not to drag others into it!
for example after Jordan had came home for his 2 weeks mid deployment leave I took 2 days to cry and get some sleep. I then went to a coffee shop were more of my family friends hang out. One friend asked me how I was doing I said I was tired but i think that is just....that is as far as I had gotten before he started to tell me that i needed to get a job to take my mind off of things...funny thing is I had taken time off of my job to be with Jordan and here is the icing on the cake about a half hour later someone asked him how his job hunt was going and his response was waiting for the unemployment papers to go through! so yes it is nice to hang out with friends but sometimes they can be more hurtful then helpful. Most times they dont even realize they said something that was hurtful so make sure you dont explode and then lose a good friend.

BrookeChristiana
10-14-2010, 10:15 PM
I was having one of those nights tonight ironically. But then I read this and I feel so much better. <3 Thanks so much!

Meredith
10-14-2010, 10:36 PM
no problem Brooke and I'm glad I could help!! :) I hope you're feeling better now!

:bighug:

ellalavin
01-18-2011, 07:09 PM
Me and mike(my boyfriend) have only been dating a short while. While we are apart all the time (he is stationed CO and i am in wisconsin), i am still having a hard time with him deploying, like having nightmares and whatnot. any suggestions?
Ellie