nightmares?..about YOU?

[MrsJoey]

do any of yalls guys have nightmares? iraq-related but also like about you? :chinscratch:

joeys been havin em recently but ive been the focus of them. just bad dreams, SAD dreams! it upsets him so much and it upsets ME so much because im not there for him to roll over and cuddle up on...we're apart right now. so i dont know how to make him feel better :( theres been a couple times where he wakes up so upset, he gets online and its like 9 or 10pm my time and super early his time (7hour time diff) but he gets on to talk/webcam with me. most times i can cheer him up and have him laughin by the end of the convo, and send him off to bed for a few more hours.

i mean im thinkin he misses me- (duh) but i hate that hes having these dreams and theres nothing i can do about it.

have any of your guys experienced this? :shrug:

[colleen]

Hubs hasn't said anything to me about any bad dreams, usually it's complaining that he didnt' sleep very well, and this is unusual for him. But I am usually the one having the bad/sad dreams! I had one the other night that my husband turned into this macho body builder who became a cocky little thing and wouldn't talk to me or anything...and just left me hanging.. and I was devisted..and when I woke up I had to reassure myself that it didn't actually happen. It was weird and not the first time I had a dream about him leaving me!? But I really don't think these things when I'm awake at all! Weird! :shrug:

[KristiMarie]

JM is a bit of an insomniac so he just doesnt sleep much... hes had a few weird dreams before though

[Alyssa]

Luke and I both have weird scary dreams about each other. Me more so than him. Mine are more related to Afghanistan than anything, probably because he tells me so much... I don't know.

Maybe its deployments that get us all to have weird dreams?

[Meredith]

Kell, these are pretty much the ONLY bad dreams Mike has about Iraq. He can't get home to me, or I won't take him back, or we're in the same place and he can't touch me, I left him...those kinds of things. I think it's the subconscious fear of losing us. They know it's along time to be away from one another and women are affectionate...and they can't give us that. Most of the time I think Mike felt like he was letting me down by having to leave.

As you know ALLL of this is irrational!! Yes I miss the affection but nothing will change the way I feel about him and as long as the army lets him get home you can bet your ass I'll be waiting there to tackle him!

You're doing exactly what I did. Just kinda hung out and chatted with him and tried like hell to get his spirits up. That usually helped the best!

I'm sorry Joey's having bad dreams. He just loves you tons!!

[Lisa]

Kelly I know exactly what you're talking about! D has them every once in a while but sometimes he goes through like a series? i guess.. where they're like REALLY frequent and sometimes they're really bad like me cheating on him and stuff. He knows I never would but people can't control their dreams ya know? But I know what you mean about how bad they make you feel... I always try and make him feel better but sometimes if the dream is really bad I can tell he's got that sick feeling in his stomach. I guess all I can say is just keep reassuring him he has nothing to worry about! The dreams are just going to happen when they're constantly away from us.

[Lana]

Nick is lucky - he never remembers nightmares. And if he has dreams, they're usually extremely weird. Though, I know how he feels I have nightmares nearly every night about one thing or another. :( It sucks that you can't help him, but just try to send him e-mails to read or maybe "give" him a dream to have, or hell, write him a sex dream in the e-mail!

[MrsJoey]

Kell, these are pretty much the ONLY bad dreams Mike has about Iraq. He can't get home to me, or I won't take him back, or we're in the same place and he can't touch me, I left him...those kinds of things. I think it's the subconscious fear of losing us. They know it's along time to be away from one another and women are affectionate...and they can't give us that. Most of the time I think Mike felt like he was letting me down by having to leave.

As you know ALLL of this is irrational!! Yes I miss the affection but nothing will change the way I feel about him and as long as the army lets him get home you can bet your ass I'll be waiting there to tackle him!

You're doing exactly what I did. Just kinda hung out and chatted with him and tried like hell to get his spirits up. That usually helped the best!

I'm sorry Joey's having bad dreams. He just loves you tons!!


identical mere! he keeps having dreams about me leaving him, cheating on him, him coming home and not being able to find me,ect. it breaks my heart! and the look on his face when webcam connects...ugh. so sad. im glad its not just us goin through this! i thought i did something wrong or...idk lol. its just sad. but i guess it just boils down to we miss eachother, he misses me-thats a good thing! if he didnt miss me thatd be sad...ha

thanks ladies! all of this was helpful! i was just thinkin outloud about it bc its been pretty frequent this week especially.

[happilymarried]

I have bad dreams..and sad dreams.they are SO real!!and when i wake up it feels like it actually happened and i feel betrayed.i have had dreams that he didnt come back when the other guys were,,and a few times i dreamt he didnt love me when he came home,,he didnt smile anymore,,lied to me,,cheated in me..omg i HATE those dreams!!!!

[Meredith]

Yeah Kel, I think their insecurities and their fears get the best of them at night when they have the time to "think" about it. Lets face it we're not doing our jobs as s/o's while they're away and they're not doing theirs...talking on the phone or through emails isn't really a solid relationship. While we shouldn't be completely based on the physical side that element is still really important. They' KNOW we have bad days whether we tell them or not about both them being away and just in general bad days. Life doesn't stop while they're gone and they feel like because their in the army it's their fault that they're not doing their job as a husband ya know?

well I'm rambling. It sucks they have those thoughts but I think we do as well we just handle them in different ways. Just keep doing what you're doing and reminding how much you love him and miss him and I think that will do that job!! hang in there Kel!

[Mouse]

Tom doesn't tell me stuff like that. I mean he will tell me if he has an awesome dream about me but he doesn't tell me when he has nightmares or when he's upset. He's trying so hard to not show any kind of "weakness" That bugs me more than anything.
My nightmares have finally started to slow down. Think it's cuz we are starting to adjust to all this.

[MrsJoey]

im glad theyre startin to fade Mouse, I know the first monthish of our deployment i had nightmares almost every night. its rough but it does fade :) hang in there.
and as for showing weakness-joeys that way too. hes gotten better about it,especially since we've been married but he always tries to be the big tough guy.

its a military thing i think! ;)

[Meredith]

Awe Mouse I understand. Mike doesn't usually tell me much either. It takes awhile for him to come around and say it. He told me this morning when he woke up that he had had a nightmare and all he would tell me about it was that he stopped talking to his parents. When he's ready to talk about it I'm sure he will! Just hang in there!